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Jul. 22nd, 2013

Bangel

[sticky post] >100

I've written a number of stories that have weighed in at under a hundred words, which struck me as a bit too short to post on FF.

But, here they are. Almost all are fills at comment_fic and all for Whedon fandoms. Because that's what I do.

EDIT 27/7/13- Added new three sentence fics!


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Mar. 24th, 2014

Tillow

Willowy Goodness Awards

Check it out, I almost won some stuff. That's never happened before.







So, thanks, voting people.

(I have no where else to put these, so I guess they'll just hang out here.) 

Feb. 7th, 2014

Tillow

Willowy Goodness

I have not been posting here lately. I've returned to my lurking ways, since I've been talking out my thoughts in conversation more often now, and I feel a little weird that my last entry was me announcing a nomination too, but oh well. Maybe it'll make me look more popular?

Anyhow, (And this one was totally a surprise. Anonymity done right. Good job, my secret nominator. (Though I do have my suspicions.))

So, you can vote for me (just me, not a story) as Best Willow/Tara Author.

You can vote for my story White Wedding for Best Willow/Tara Fic and Best Evil Willow Characterization.

And you can vote for another one of my stories, Sympathy for the Monsters, for Best Comedy.

Oct. 14th, 2013

Spuffel

Sunnydale Memorial Awards

So, voting is finally open for round 29 of the Sunnydale Memorial Awards.

I have two stories (er, sort of) that have  been nominated, so I took a button for each.

Makes the post prettier, don't it?


Forgotten (Spike and Dawn gen)
Nominated for best Spike Centric Angst (which I did not know was a thing), Best Gen, and Best Quickie Fic.




Those Things (Spike/Buffy/Angel polyfidelity)
The whole series was nominated, so you can check out the other stories to get the full feel: Pride, Love and Pancakes, and Something Beyond
Or, if AO3 is your thing, they're also right here.
Nominated for Best Series and Best Male Characterization. (See, there's a reason Angel's staring at you right now.)

Oct. 13th, 2013

Spangel

Perfect Happiness

What if Angelus were on a timer?

Like, losing his soul as soon as he stops suffering doesn't make sense, because he'll only go out and cause more suffering and then he'll be happy. And they don't want him to be happy.

So, what if his soul only leaves (or doesn't even leave, just... deactivates, somehow) for a short amount of time? Only long enough for him to have killed the people he cares about and to accumulate more sins to angst over?

It'd kill a bunch of people, but the Kalderash don't care about other people, they are about themselves and about Angelus' continued suffering.

It's vengeance, not justice.

Or, maybe not a set time, maybe until Angelus is perfectly happy.

It could keep going on like that. Any time one of them slips, any time one allows himself that one moment, the other will surface and take his place.

Jul. 22nd, 2013

Spuffel

RWSA Nominee

Oh, I kind of forgot to do this earlier.



My story Those Things has been nominated for Unconventional Couple (it's Spuffel polyfidelity) at the Running with Scissors Awards. (Thank you, my totally and completely anonymous nominator.)

Check it out if you haven't already, and if you like it, reviews are appreciated. (Also, if you don't like it, so I can improve.)

And, while they weren't nominated, Those Things has (so far) two three (yay!) sequels, Pride, Love and Pancakes, and, as of 12/8/13, Something Beyond! These could also always use more reviews.

=)

Jul. 20th, 2013

Captain Hammer

First Impressions and Hero Worship

This post is less about the various series of Whedon and more about… being a fan of those series, I guess.

And, I’m also going to step aside from my general “only Whedon fandoms exist” and momentarily direct attention to a different, but still wonderful show, and that is Community. There’s a seen in an episode of Community in which Troy is faced with the prospect of meeting a hero of his, Levar Burton.

Troy becomes terrified, winds up on the bathroom floor crying, and exclaims that he has never wanted to meet Levar Burton. He only wanted a signed picture. Because you can’t disappoint a picture.

For the most part, I just watch the show, laugh when it’s funny, and become pleased when they notice a particular habit of television/movies, or reference something else I enjoy.

But this particular moment, this particular exclamation, I identify with so heavily it almost hurts.

I spend a lot of time watching Buffy and Angel and thinking about them and why they are the way that they are and the implications of all the stories and what makes sense and what doesn’t make sense. I’ve spent hundreds and thousands of hours falling in love with these characters, and I can only assume that if you’re reading this, you’re either very, very lost, or you’ve done exactly the same.

And, after I’ve done that, probably like the rest of y’all still, I often spend time finding out about the actors, the creators. Who are they, what do they do. I watch their interviews and I look at their other works, whether they’re in the same medium or not, and I follow Twitter messages and all of these little things that make us like them more, make us feel like we know them.

Make us love them.

But it’s all one-sided. They have absolutely no idea we, as individuals, exist, that we spend all this time immersing ourselves in what they’ve done, all this time just thinking about them.

And then we’re faced with the prospect of meeting them.

We’ve had so much time to fall in love, and then we have only a moment, a split-second to make that first, and sometimes only, impression on them.

In a couple of seconds to maybe a minute or two, we need to express that we are worthy of being their fan. We need to show and express that we love who they are and what they’ve created. We need to show them and to be validated. And at exactly the same time, we need to show restraint. We can’t pour out years of emotions at them at once, even if that’s what we’ve got bottled up. We need to show that we appreciate and understand them as humans and not just “Spike! I love you! You’re so badass! What happened to your hair?”

Come on to strong and you run the risk of making them uncomfortable, making your interests look too obsessive. Don’t come on strong enough, then you won’t really come across as a fan. You will have passed up the opportunity to express to whomever it is you idolise that you really, truly, and utterly enjoy and appreciate what they’ve done.

It’s terrifying.

Jul. 19th, 2013

Darla

Who Wants To Live Forever

I'm sitting on the floor at SDCC and typing on my phone... But I just want to write down my random, and entirely irrelevant, thoughts before I head into panels for the rest of the day.

Anyway, this isn't as much my opinion as it is my lack of opinion.

In one of the IDW Angel comics,Angel: The Crown Prince Syndrome, Illyria speculates that Connor may be immortal, or at least alive in a thousand years.

Connor's powers and abilities seem to consist of all the good aspects of turning into a vampire (enhanced speed, strength, and senses) with none of the weakness (sunlight, crosses, holy objects, etc.).

Vampires, obviously, do not die of age or natural causes.

While an immunity to these could easily be understood as a good thing, immortality can also be considered a curse and a negative effect from the transition into vampirism. Outliving the people you love, who wants to live forever?

So, from the point-of-view of the universe/the PTB/Jasmine/whoever the fuck determines what abilities Connor does or doesn't have, does it make more or less sense for him to be immortal?

(He's not invulnerable, mind. We know he can die if you stab him enough.)

I can see and understand both sides of this.

Either Connor isn't immortal, because being immortal is awful and miserable and undesirable, (or because there needs to be a balance against his strength and powers) and he can and will continue to age and eventually die, or he's just so awesome and powerful that things like ageing and sickness are completely irrelevant to him and he'll still be around when Melaka Fray picks up the scythe and starts a rebellion.

So, my two or possibly even three readers, thoughts? Has anyone thought on this much, or is anyone swayed one direction in particular? Why or why not?

(Since I feel like I'm assigning an essay by using that phrasing, spelling now counts. Not that it ever didn't.)

Jul. 5th, 2013

Angelus/Dru

How Good it All Tastes

I watched Ats 1.08 “I Will Remember You” the other day. Naturally, I spent most of the episode bouncing between amused, annoyed at Angel’s behaviour, and wishing Angel would please relocate his shirt now thank you, before the end when it became a mix of “cute!” and wanting to cry because of Buffy.

But then, after I got through with all of that, I started thinking about Angel’s attitude about how 'food tastes awesome!' and how he "..forgot how good it all tastes when you're alive."

Buffy comments that, as a vampire, Angel’s sense of taste would be duller than a human’s.

The sense of taste is mostly just smell. Without scent, taste basically breaks down to the six basics (e.g. sweet, salty, spicy) and that’s it. But vampires are known for having very strong senses of smell.

I mean, earlier in the episode, Angel tracks the Mohra demon through the sewers by the scent of its spilled blood. Spike has followed days old trails all across Sunnydale.

So, how can vampires have poor senses of taste?

And why is Angel the only one who seems to?

While not always a reliable source, Drusilla does talk about eating food. And Spike clearly does so. Harmony consumes large quantities of sugar. So they must have some sense of taste.

I can think of two explanations, but both of them seem kind of like I’m stretching.

The first would be that, because a vampire has such a powerful sense of smell, their ability to taste is completely divorced from scent. Basically meaning they can tell if something is spicy or sweet, but not much else.

This may explain the eating behaviours of both Spike and Harmony. Sugar on sugar, extra spicy, taking things to excess. If they can’t taste the differences in flavour, they may just go all in.

This would also explain why the idea of chocolate and peanut butter wasn’t worth explaining. It would be a very basic sweet plus sweet plus salty.

For me, I don’t think this explanation clarifies why vampires are so picky about the different bloods they drink, however. If salty is salty, then why should it matter if the blood is from someone older, or from a less-than-human source?

The only other idea I’ve come up with so far is that a vampire’s sense of taste actually isn’t duller than a human’s. It’s sharper.

Like, a lot.

As it logically should be, a vampire has a considerably better ability to taste, the same as they have a better sense of smell.

The reason Angel doesn’t find normal human foods appealing is because he can taste. Too a ridiculous extent.

If all vampires are supertasters (probably more like super-supertasters), then they it seems likely that they wouldn’t be that interested in human food. I mean, think of all the different ingredients in a single dish, in a snack. Eating human food could be simply too overwhelming, which would be why very few vampires indulge in it.

Jun. 3rd, 2013

Bangel

Gorgeous in an Annoying Sort of Way

I've been trying to complete a third sequel/prequel for my story Those Things for a while now, and all I've managed to come up with are bits and pieces that don't even come together well enough to make the sort of bits-and-pieces story that Those Things is.

The first three happened pretty quickly, so I've been a little stumped as to why I've been unable to create Piece Number Four. (Or Three if Love and Pancakes is counted more as a Piece Two-and-a-Half.) It's not a lack of ideas, I have plenty of things that I know occur in this world/verse/thing, and I know the ways the characters feel, and I have a general idea of what sorts of things I want to write about.

It wasn't until recently that I think I've really figured out what might be keeping me back.

One of the goals I have in Those Things is that, while the polyfidelitous relationship between Spike, Buffy, and Angel is never completely equal (someone will feel just a little left out, someone will feel like they've been teamed up against in an argument (I'm completely blanking on a more eloquent way to phrase that (parentheception))) there should be some level of equality in the lack of equality. I try to put as much attention to each individual character and to each couple as I put to the trio as a whole. And to do this, I definitely need to understand how the characters feel about one another and why they feel the way that they feel.

And this is a problem. Because I have absolutely no idea why Buffy fell in love with Angel. None.

I know why I fell in love with Angel. I think I've got a decent grasp on why Cordelia did. And Darla. Drusilla. And I think I can make something decent from his relationship with Spike, whether or not it quite qualifies as love.

But... how did that creepy guy who stalked her into an alley, made it clear he knew way too much about her for having never met her, left her to fight her own fight, and was described as "...gorgeous, in an annoying sort of way," suddenly become Buffy's soulmate, despite their incredibly few interactions in the interim?

Angel's behaviour in the first season is, bluntly put, very disturbing. He stalks her, he spies on her, he keeps secrets, he's pretty detached emotionally, and, somehow, that makes Buffy fall wildly, madly, passionately in love with him.

As a viewer, I can look back and understand that what Buffy's seeing is something of a front. But Buffy didn't have this knowledge. Did she really, truly, genuinely fall for that creepy persona Angel has going?

The use of unhealthy relationships in media doesn't alarm me. The only problem I really have is when the relationship is presented as something romantic or to be idealised. And that almost seems to be what is going on in the early years of Bangel, and it makes me sad because, by the time 5.17 "Forever" rolled around, I realised I could kind of get behind Buffy and Angel. But it's not a story of redemption, the way it could have been handled. It was creepy, and now it's not, and it's sort of ignored that their relationship, when it began, was kind of alarming.

It's easy enough to chalk Buffy's love and angst up to the whole romantic teen drama sort of thing, but if I want it to work as a functioning, adult relationship, I really need to understand how and why she fell in love with him. Because she didn't get to see all the things I saw, the things that made me love Angel. So... why? 

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